


Hide the Pain

by Ookomix



Series: Star Wars One-Shots [11]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Creation of the Resistance, Gen, Leia Organa Deserves Better, painful memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-06-06 17:07:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15199484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ookomix/pseuds/Ookomix
Summary: As the Resistance grows stronger to fight against the First Order, Leia is forced to hide her pain. She has to be strong.





	Hide the Pain

**Author's Note:**

> Un-beta-ed work from a non english writer  
> You've been warned  
> This one has been created in a writing speed duel with @Blacknwhitewings

Leia looked at the report. She read it. Again. And again. But the words couldn’t print themselves on her mind.

_Destruction of the entire Jedi school. Six bodies missing. Luke Skywalker and Ben Organa-Solo along._

But Ben wasn’t dead, she would’ve felt it. She couldn’t have just missed out on the death of her son. Her only child. So she had hoped. She had hoped so much that he had been safe, that he and Luke had just… managed to flee in time. Now she was just feeling stupid.

 _Kylo Ren_ , the name was tasting bitter on her tongue. The knight had just destroyed an entire fleet for the New Republic and had signed his crime like it was nothing. Just another maniac, another Sith craving for power.

But it wasn’t just that.

_Destruction of the entire Jedi school. Six bodies missing. Luke Skywalker and Ben Organa-Solo along._

When she heard the name, another printed on her mind, pushed by the Force. Her son’s name. His Ben was under the mask, she knew it. He was out there, following a monster, killing for him. Losing his humanity for him. And she had been blind to all of it. How long since that beast first targeted her son, turned him to the Dark Side? How could have she been so oblivious? So… impervious to Ben’s distress?

It’s too late, now. She can’t erase the past.

She looked up from the report she kept on her pockets, to remind her of her stupidity, her weakness, and she smiled at Holdo and Ackbar. Her dear friends who followed her into the Resistance.

“Leia are you alright?” Holdo asked, a concerned frown on her face.

“I am,” Leia assured her, her voice not faltering as she lied. “Everything is fine.”

Ackbar said nothing, and for a breve moment Leia wondered if he knew, if he guessed the pain that plagued her. But he kept silent. So Leia said nothing either. There was nothing to say.

“Come, friends, we have a lot to do.”

“Of course,” Ackbar eventually replied. “I had a question.”

“Ask,” Leia gave him permission.

“Are you intending on answering Han Solo? He left another message. Again.”

“No, I don’t intend to,” Leia simply stated like it was nothing, like it didn’t pain her to say this. “He’s just… flooding with excuses and excuses but he’s not coming. He won’t. We have a lot to do, and if he’s not planning on joining us, then opening a conversation with him will put us all in danger.”

“I see,” Ackbar said with a little voice. “What a shame.”

“What a shame indeed,” Holdo added. “Having him on board would have been beneficial. Why is he not coming?” she stopped, gasped. “I’m sorry. Is it because of…”

“Yes,” Leia interrupted her. “But don’t worry.” She stopped walking as well, turned towards her friends. “Please don’t. I need your full attention.”

“Of course.”

Leia smiled again, and she joined the rest of the Resistance on D’Qar’s ship-landing. All these soldiers, all these people who came to help the galaxy. It warms her heart.

But it seems it’s only her family that’s missing.

Luke, Ben, _Han_. They left. They left her all, all the men of her family. Luke disappeared. Han fled out of…. Of what, shame? And Ben…

Frowning, Leia tried to muffle the voice in her head. She didn’t need this kind of thoughts. So she simply stretched her back, clapped her hands behind her back, and cleared her throat.

“A long road is waiting for us. A painful one. But a worthy one. We will defeat the menace lurking at the rim of our galaxy, we will protect those in need, we will fight until there’s nothing left of the Dark Side. Keep hope! May the Force be with you.”

She smiled at the cheers and war cries, and it soothed her soul a little. She needed to be strong for everyone.

**Author's Note:**

> Another One-shot for the collection!


End file.
